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Deviousness `anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More
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Sta.sh
The suspense level is at an all time high, and I like how you're coming along with that, but by writing high suspense stories (especially non-pre-written stories), you're swimming in dangerous waters.
I've noticed that in this chapter you've been ending parts at cliffhangers; making us wait impatiently for what happens next. Doing this so often is getting a little repetitive, but that's not the main thing I wanted to address (as a matter of fact, this is considered to be good story-writing). These parts have seemed to be getting...shorter. Not length-wise, but content-wise. Less seems to be happening in each part. In part one, the doctor wakes up to find the forest is sideways, and Lyra's about to fall. In part two, Con saves Lyra, but sacrifices himself. This is a developing pattern I've been noticing: one or two things happen, then you introduce the next event via cliffhanger. I don't know if you've been intentionally doing this, or that it's just a side-effect of speed writing, but try and limit cliffhangers to the most suspenseful events, and possibly cut down a little bit on detail to add in more to the story per strip.
That's really my main advisory. aside from that, you're doing a spectacular job!
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